Ok, gentlemen! We have been discussing how to love, serve, lead and understand our wives in our marriage class during ABF. I have passed out lists of questions to ask our wives before, but here is a shorter list I ran across this week that I thought would be helpful.
It was a follow up to a blog post entitled, “What Might be a Surprising Way to Love Your Wife,” by Brian Croft, which you can read by clicking on the link in the article title. In the first article he shares about the surprising answer he got from his own wife when he asked her the question, “What is something practical I can do to make you feel loved and appreciated by me?”
That article, and a follow up question from a friend, inspired him to pen the following helpful questions to ask our wife in a second article:
- What can I do to make you feel loved and appreciated by me?
- What can I do to make you feel like I enjoy being with you more than anyone else?
- What are some things I can do to encourage you, spiritually?
- What can I do to help relieve the stress of life responsibilities?
- How can I best serve you in dealing with our children?
- What can I do to heighten your desire for physical intimacy?
- What can I do to make you feel our family is the priority over ministry [and I would add, ‘work,’ ‘entertainment,’ and ‘recreation’]?
- What can I do to help you grow in a love to serve our church?
- What kinds of moments when our family is together do you cherish the most?
Because we have a special speaker this week in ABF, you all have an extra week before we cover the topic of “spiritual leadership” in our time together. I am making a strong suggestion that you take the time during this extra week to ask your wife these questions, humbly and sincerely (that means ‘Don’t get defensive! Listen!’), with every intention of figuring out how to take the practical steps she suggests.
This isn’t just for the men who are taking the arriage class in ABF either. All the husbands are encouraged to pursue learning, leading and loving their wives.
As an added motivation for the ABF class, however, don’t forget that your wives just read this blog post too. So…
Take the initiative men. I am almost sure that is one way that most wives would answer to the first question. They will feel more love and appreciated if you take an active, intentional interest in learning how to love and appreciate them. That is so simple it’s scary. And it’s so simple, no one could possibly say that it is too hard (it might be uncomfortable, but it is NOT hard).
Go to it men! Learn…Lead…Love!