Darkness … A poem by Paul Biebel

DARKNESS – By Paul Biebel

02/19/1991 –  (A rather difficult time )

            Psalm 139:9-12 “If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.  NKJV

 

 DARKNESS

When darkness overwhelmed me and I was about to fall
My stumbling knees and fumbling hands found no resolve
A voice I heard, it gently speaks
“Wait my Son, do not fear.  Wait for me, I am here.”

His patience beckons – yet my spirit sees
Only waves of trouble crashing over me
My mind … exhausted by anxiety
To higher ground, my desire to flee

 I run, I hide, I seek to find
Through pious self-reliance – peace of mind
With darkness coming, I feel danger near
Life’s ebbing strength gives way to fear.

“Where are you Lord?”  My soul cried out
The sky is black with fear and doubt
The stars their songs have fled the night
yet their points of light remain
Their points of light not singing, but stinging
 now with relentless pain.

“Are you angry Lord?” I shout.  You cannot hide.  I must not doubt
“Have you gone away?  Or is it I?  Did you hide your face behind the sky?”

A third time I asked, “Where are you Lord?”
I must keep looking.
The darkness now darker
My hands … feeling, touching … gripping

A voice, a whisper replied with soft reproof
It’s only answer … a calm eternal truth to
relax this tired and weary youth
“Cease striving, my Child
The darkness must be dark a little longer
And through this darkness you shall grow stronger

For I am darkness and I am light
I am both to fight your fight
The darkness is mine to use
To fight your enemy…and confuse.”

A hush …Again I felt a terror near
My silence; His listening. My shaking fear
So close, his icy breathing I could hear

His deadly search, my soul to kill
By force, his way, to break my will

Standing still, I cannot move
Frozen, helpless … Without choice
I remembered then the written voice
It spoke a promise without noise
Inside my soul restoring poise

As he passed me by with fierce dismay
I heard him curse at me and say
“I’ll be back for you again someday”

With great relief, I learned that day
I was safely hidden from his way
Though his final trick was still to play
To pretend to leave and go away.
But the written voice would wisely say
Stand still, move not till light of day.

Hidden still, I knew not where
But safe was I.  He heard my prayer
It was then, a thought, I realized
God knew my place, He saw with eyes
There in darkness my mind perceived
That darkness was not dark to thee.

His voice, again it spoke
This time to explain
“Be still now, and listen close
Your question answered, I’ll make it plain.

 “My Son, your appointed time of trial had come
to sift like wheat… the evil one
 Life’s guarantee, death’s cold demand
The fiery trial of a faithful man
To test one’s stance on Rock or sand.    

He came to pass to kill today
But what comes to pass must go away
He could not find nor could prevail
He flung his darts to no avail

He looked for you, he made his ploy
With device and trap he would destroy
This time, my son, when you thought I’d left you
I was using darkness to protect you

A crack of light it would expose
A fatal shot to thy repose
A glimpse of truth it could reveal
My secret place where I conceal

Your faith he wants, your only purse
The Light of Life, your lips to curse”

The voice, a little louder it speaks
I feel the ground beneath my feet
It moves it shakes, It sways … it quakes

“Stand still, trust not thy might” … The answer cometh – a host of light
“Now, see my light, stand up … be strong”
His hand unfolded, large and strong
It’s where I had been … all along.