In Sunday’s message I made these statements:

“Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, and one that, when defined and pursued in accordance with His design, is ratified by Him through the establishing a sacred spiritual union. It is first and foremost a commitment to one another. A sound, healthy, and God-honoring marriage MUST be first and foremost, based on a permanent, unconditional commitment to your spouse.

If a marriage is first and foremost based on attraction, or romance, or sex, or the companionship of things you share in common, then you can expect the relationship to either crumble or be unsatisfying at some point. Attractions can change. Romance can wax cold. Sex can be seldom or even impossible at some point. Common interests are always evolving. And the reality is, it is not hard over time to meet someone whom you will think might provide any, or all, of those things better than your spouse might be providing them at any point in time (a scary thought, but we are fools if we don’t recognize it happens).

Are attraction, romance, sex and common interests bad? No! It is still true that any happy and healthy marriage is going to include many (or all) of those things (and many other aspects of what it means to be “one flesh”). And it is also true that happy and healthy marriages involve two people who are committed to establishing, pursuing, and cultivating all of those things to the extent possible.

But they MUST BE COMMITTED to pursuing those things. The COMMITMENT comes first. The other things are the byproducts of faithfully pursuing those commitments. Get the cart before the horse, and you’re going to have a hard time getting anywhere in your married life.”

Below is a video describing a marriage that demonstrates these realities better than I could ever try to express them myself. If you can watch this without crying, you need to watch it again, and think more deeply about it.

 


 

 

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About Brian Sayers

Brian has been an elder, and staff pastor, at Christ Community Church since September of 2000. He is a 1998 graduate of The Master's Seminary (M.Div).

2 Comments

  1. Wendy on May 9, 2012 at 9:10 am

    In viewing this clip – right off it made me think of 2 marriages in particular in our own church body that show that!!! It made me think of Tom & Jan Johnson and then Gary’s parents when Gary’s dad was graciously caring for Janice during her sickness without complaining (married almost 65 years). Two Christ Community marriages that show what true commitment in marriage is. Although they probably won’t and didn’t quote Piper and no video was ever made of their life struggles, they most definitely have testified to what the foundation and commitment in marriage is all about.

    Wendy Brothers

  2. Brian Sayers on May 9, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Thank you Wendy. I agree. God’s grace and goodness is on display in our own body, as it is in so many other places and marriages that are known and applauded by heaven alone. God is able to strengthen us for the task, and I thank God for the examples closest to us.

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